June 21st: The Summer Solstice in the Northern Hemisphere and the longest day of the year
For me: My first PET/CT scan, which felt like the longest day of the year!
So, before I get the final go ahead for my surgery in September, my surgeon decided to refer me for a PET/CT scan to stage the cancer.
🤞 Fingers crossed that it’s just localised and I won’t need chemo 🤞
After fasting all morning and drinking copious amounts of water, I headed to the hospital for my appointment.
On arrival, Bjørnar and I sat and waited until my name was called. We were then shown to a room, I changed into some hospital clothing, laid down on the bed, answered a few medical questions and had my blood sugar level checked. Then I waited for the Doctor to come and put a cannula in my arm.
This was not a pleasant experience 😥 I have thin, deep veins that are difficult to find. Every time I have a blood test, a long time is spent trying to locate a vein. Usually, the Nurse/Doctor has a few attempts and I end up resembling a pin cushion. Today was no exception… They even used a special gadget to look for veins in my arm!
Image taken from: http://techpp.com/2012/03/26/top-medical-gadgets/
After 5 attempts in the back of my hands (which resulted in a few painful, little bruises), an Anaesthesiologist was asked to come and find a vein. Luckily, his first attempt was successful! After he left, the Doctor returned with a large robot-looking machine, connected it to the cannula in my hand and in went the radioactive tracer. Bjørnar left the room at this point to get some food since I had to rest and relax for the first 30 minutes (apparently even reading can affect where the tracer ends up in the body). For the first few minutes, knowing that what had been injected into me was radioactive, my heart started pounding and I began to feel anxious. Since I couldn’t feel anything physically different in my body, this helped me to slowly calm down.
After 75 minutes or so, a Nurse came to tell me that they were ready to do the scan and I followed her to the room. After laying down on the scanner bed, I was told that they would be injecting me with the contrast dye for the CT part of the scan. They explained that I would feel some discomfort in the area where it was injected, and since the cannula was in my hand (usually they put it in the forearm) they would reduce the pressure. After placing my hands above my head, I was moved through the machine.
Immediately, I got very anxious and felt claustrophobic! With my heart pounding in my chest, I asked them to take me back out. A few moments later, I said I would try again and tried to keep it together. Once I was through to the other side of the machine, they injected the contrast dye into the cannula. Now this hurt A LOT! My hand was burning and it was very painful. They tried to relieve the pressure, which helped a little, but then my heart began to pound in my chest and I felt like I couldn’t breathe! I told them it felt like somebody was sitting on my chest. They asked me if it was anxiety and I said that it was nothing like what I had felt before. I tried to focus on my breathing – taking deep breaths in through my nose and slowly out through my mouth. After a while, the pain subsided and the pounding started to lessen.
I’m not sure how long the scan took, but I can assure you, it felt like a lifetime… I had an MRI scan around 8 years ago, and laying in a claustrophobic tube is no fun. Especially when you have to be in there a while! Back then, I managed to control my nerves, so I definitely feel that my anxiety has worsened since then.
From this experience, I have realised that my anxiety is worse than I thought. I feel like I wasted four months being on anti-depressants as this only helped the situation temporarily. Without the medication, the issue is still there and I need to get my mental state into better shape before my surgery in order to aid my recovery.
I just want to end by saying that I really do have the best fiancé ❤ Bjørnar has been so supportive throughout all of this. Yesterday, after knocking one of my bruises on my hand, I burst into tears, and he gave me the biggest hug. It was painful, but I was also feeling emotionally overwhelmed and it all came pouring out. On our way home, he treat us to sushi and some Yorkshire Ales, and then he spent the whole evening chilling with me.